How To Stop Obsessing About Your Ex's New Relationship

Dateology Coach Podcast

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-18:19

How To Stop Obsessing About Your Ex's New Relationship

Trust me. They're not treating them better than they treated you.

Dateology Coach

Dec 17, 2024

Transcript

Have you ever wondered what your ex's new partner has that you don't? Do you wonder if they treat their new partner better than they treated you?

A listener wants to know how to stop pressing the bruise after a breakup. Here's her letter:

A listener wants to know how to stop pressing the bruise after a breakup.

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Letter #1

I have a tendency to get caught up in limerence and stalk my exes Spotify to see what he puts on his playlists. This has often kept me stuck on him, since some of the songs appeared to specifically reference issues he and I had.

I recently stalked him and saw that he was creating playlists with another girl. I looked the girl up of course, and she looks like a prettier and thinner version of me. I know it’s my fault for prying but how do I not let this fuck with me.

I’ve vowed to stop stalking him but feel horrible about myself and rageful that this shitty man was able to pull someone hotter than me. Thanks for having this space to let me send in letters where I’m being petty and ridiculous.

Grateful for both of you and the podcast.

Letter #2

I broke up with a guy two years ago because I didn’t have a lot of dating experience and I didn’t know what I wanted and I thought we didn’t have a lot in common. But after a year of being broken up I was missing him so reached out to him with the intention of asking for a second chance.

We texted for five or six days but I kept chickening out and then we just stopped talking. Now it’s a year after that and I’ve dated a few other guys but I still always wind up missing him again. This time feels different though.

I feel like I’m in a better place, I’ve learned some things about myself, and I have more of an idea of what I want. Should I reach out again or just leave him alone?

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