Stop Making Excuses For Lazy Men
Sign up for the first F*ck That Guy Bootcamp on May 5th-7th. Includes the F*ck That Guy online course plus 3 ninety-minute sessions where we cover the most confusing and infuriating male dating behavior.
Last week I (24f) went on a tinder date with (24m) We made arrangements to see each other next weekend but once again, he asked what I would like to do.
Since I suggested plans last time around (aka: used my brain to think of something fun and brought the materials we needed) I assumed he’d get the hint and take more initiative this time. I suggested we do something he would normally do for fun on weekends and said if that wasn’t possible I’d help brainstorm. The guy literally said: I don’t know, let’s brainstorm ideas, and gave me nothing more to work with.
I don’t want to prematurely write him off but blatantly saying “idk” then passing the buck off to me wasn’t particularly attractive and came across as lazy. Based on what we talked about during our first meeting, it seems like we share similar lifestyles and values so I’m not keen on jumping ship just yet.
Something tells me he doesn’t have much experience dating, online he mentioned getting ghosted often and said he “just wants to meet someone nice.” The lack of initiative and problem-solving skills is unattractive but for whatever reason, my intuition is telling me to meet him again. Am I overreacting? Or, would you classify this behaviour as a potential red flag?
Let me start with a disclaimer: My response is based on the assumption this man is not neurodivergent. I’ll go further into this exception below.
I’m sure there are a lot of things this guy doesn’t know how to do but that he learns to do anyway. You’re not a kindergarten teacher. You are an adult. As is he. He knows what he’s supposed to do in this situation. He knows. He’s just sitting back and letting you do it because you already did it once.