I started dating this guy I met on Hinge in the beginning of October. He worked in another city a few hours away, but he often came home for weeks on end close to where I live. We had three great dates, and then his father suddenly died. I assumed he would withdraw, but he continued to talk to me every day and open up about his feelings/ask for advice even when he returned to his city.
We both expressed that we only date one person at a time. Our conversations got deeper as time progressed. Right before Christmas, I spoke to him on the phone while I was a bit drunk. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I believe I was making hints that Id want us to be more serious (We had a sarcastic, sassy banter and I remember expressing it in that sort of way). I apologized the next morning for whatever I said, but he did not respond. I had a weird feeling, so I later re-downloaded Hinge to find that his location updated to the new city he traveled to for work.
I impulsively sent him an emotional text calling him out, which I later profusely apologized for. He responded a few days later saying that he was very anxious with his new assignment and tends to withdraw when he gets anxious, and that my impulsive message made him withdraw more. We haven’t spoken in three weeks now, but I miss him and feel like I messed up a good thing. On the other hand, I am angry that he redownloaded Hinge instead of telling me the problems he had with whatever I said. Did I mess up? Should I reach out again?
I can not stress this enough: When someone is interested and truly available, nothing you do (within reason) will scare them off. There’s too much advice out there that encourages women to turn off all their emotions and, if they can’t, they’re to blame if a man doesn’t pursue them.