Topics discussed:
The patterns that motivate someone to pursue a married man or woman.
How FOMO convinces average-looking people they're more desirable than they are.
Gaslighting tactics used by toxic men.
Co-dependent friend groups like How I Met Your Mother & Friends and why they can cause trouble for your relationship.
From the "This Fucking Guy" file: Her husband wants a divorce because another woman flirted with him (12:05)
He said that he was hesitant once he realized that she was hitting on him, and he was also excited because this literally has never happened in his life. In the past, he repeatedly said that women, at least attractive ones like me, have it easy, because we can lean back and let the guys approach us, whereas for him it was always hard work to even get a single date. I always replied that it's not really like that and that being attractive has its own problems, but he then always reminded me of the fact that he had to work really hard to get me to date him, too.
He swears he has only met her one more time (for lunch) after the first encounter, and that he thinks it is not yet an affair. However, he thinks he wants to go forward with her, because, as he put it: "This is the first woman who is genuinely interested in me, I didn't have to text her for three months to get a date or anything. I can't let this pass." (Or something along those lines. My memory is a bit hazy.) The three months refers to the time it took him to get a date with me, btw.
And that is why he says he is breaking up with me. He says it's the right thing to do, because he wants to continue contact with her, but also feels doing that would be emotional cheating and he doesn't want to cheat on my, so he ends it before actually starting something with her.
Gaslighting 101 - He gave his woman bestie lingerie (31:15)
They (my boyfriend's friends) had a recently escalated prank fight. I had made it clear to my bf that I am not good at jokes and am rather stiff, and he said he would keep me out of it. Claire, my boyfriend, and another friend Kyle (27 M), even had a huge throwing 'water-balloons' fight in Kyle's backyard. Then my boyfriend got pranked with dye in his body wash. Then Kyle got pranked by Claire, something about whipping cream and oven mitts. But the issue was when my boyfriend brought a red, lacy, lingerie set, and he planned to put it in Claire's room the next time when he went over.
I said it was a tacky prank, and why would he buy lingerie? None of the previous pranks have been of this kind, and it makes me really uncomfortable. I also felt like if I was Claire, I would feel gross about it. But my boyfriend got mad and defensive and told me Claire is 'cool like that', and she would think it's funny. I admit, I get a bit weirded out when he calls Claire 'extremely beautiful' and jokes about how she was always been 'way out of his league'. But I thought it was nothing and they were like family, so I guess it was 'their' thing. However, the lingerie prank had me put my foot down and I said that he was wrong to give another woman lingerie, no matter who, when he had a girlfriend.
We fought, and I said I wanted to break up, which he didn't want to and I said that I was just overreacting. He said that I was too conservative and needed to open my mind when he had never given me a reason to be insecure. Claire called me and said that she and my bf have been friends for a long time, and 'inside jokes' are just that, and I'll learn with more age.
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Fck That Guy: Gaslighting Boyfriend & His Toxic Friends Edition