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Should She Get BoyFriend Benefits If They're Not Sleeping Together?
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Should She Get BoyFriend Benefits If They're Not Sleeping Together?

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Hi Christan, sorry for the message, but I wasn’t able to post in your Q & A due to length restrictions.                                               

I’ve been friends for 3 years with a guy who seemed solid & stable, as well as really supportive. Never been anything but consistent & respectful. A couple of months ago, after I took a year off of dating, he asked me out. I accepted, as he had my trust & we seemed to have aligned values. We dated casually for a few weeks, (no sex), & things seemed to be going well. Then my dog got sick & my car broke down.

All of a sudden, he wasn’t responsive or communicating. I checked in on him days later, & he said the new job he was starting (exec role) was taking all of his time, but to give him a few days to get settled & we’d connect. It was 4 weeks before I heard from him again. He didn’t even reach out when my grandfather died 2 weeks ago (he knew, because he acknowledged when he reached out that he’d seen it on FB). I also saw his FB (we’re FB friends) & he’s been going out with friends as usual. Now he’s saying everything is settled & he’d like to start seeing me again.                                       

I’m not interested. Won’t be dating him again - absolutely not. Should I even consider friendship with him, & if so, how do I communicate that I’m only open to friendship with certain boundaries because of what has happened?

Listen to this episode to hear my answer.

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Dateology Coach Newsletter
Dateology Coach Podcast
Incisive and unflinching dating advice that decenters men and reminds women that staying single is a valid - and sometimes optimal - choice.