Dateology Coach Newsletter
Nuggets Podcast
Open Phone Policies, Spicy Peppers & Dating Profile Red Flags

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Open Phone Policies, Spicy Peppers & Dating Profile Red Flags

Don't give your phone password to your partner. Haven't you ever listened to a true crime podcast?!

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Happy Monday Morning, Nuggets!

Here’s what’s in store for today’s episode:

  • We discuss our thoughts on having an open phone policy with your partner and why you shouldn’t advertise that policy in a dating profile. Telling a stranger you have an open phone policy is one of the fastest ways to attract someone controlling and insecure. Agree or disagree?

  • Why you should never discuss anything related to money or financial stability in your dating profile.

  • The pros and cons of selecting the spicy pepper icon for sex positivity in your Bumble profile and what it means when men check it off.

Here’s the letter from today’s episode:

Hi ladies, I’ve had this on my mind and really need your advice on this situation. Because I feel awful about it. I wrote in over the summer about my experiences with being objectified and how guys reacted to my dating app profile and how I’m a model and engineer.

There’s a man I’ve been talking to on and off and he’s actually another resident in my apartment building. We have a 19 year age difference - he’s 47 and I’m 28. Anyway he’s been sending me a lot of texts where all he talks about is sex, or the conversation turns sexual at some point, and he compliments my boobs and body overall, but rarely says anything about my face. I might be overthinking that but when men break down your body parts and almost like rank them it’s so degrading. At one point I went over to his place because I felt comfortable and at the time I had my mind on my career and not dating.

At his place he wanted me to massage him (he didn’t return the favor) and I also gave him a blowjob (which I enjoyed because he did have a nice package if I’m being honest.) Aside from that we cuddled and it was relaxing. The weirdest thing about our interaction though was that he did not want to kiss. Any time I got close to his face in that way he literally wouldn’t turn his head or anything. Also during our snuggling session he put his hand under my pants a few times even after I gently moved them.

More info on him: he lives alone and honestly I see him alone when I’m out a lot, never with another woman. I don’t know much about him personally but I know he has no kids. He’s also really shy and doesn’t seem like a bad guy overall. I’m beginning to wonder if he might also be on the spectrum since I am and can sense some signs. Either that or he genuinely has no idea how to interact with women appropriately. It’s been hard for me to move on from this with confidence because I was objectified and used so much that now I feel ugly and unworthy of more. Please help. Thank you so much.

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